And for a good many people who believe in “falling in love’ that is very true even in our time today. Especially when we have saturated ourselves with Telenovelas and romantic notions of “true love”, “Mr. right and Mrs. right” and the belief in “soulmates”. These same people believe that love is blind.
They believe that when a man is “in love” he seldom reasons out his actions and finds himself willy-nilly obeying an outer force whom he can only but surrender wholly to. But this cannot all be true:
Even those unions which to the Christian seems divine and almost “God sent”, cannot be that magical and spellbinding so that the couples act like automated toys performing preconditioned activities. You always have a choice.
With the understanding of free-will, it is not so much of a revelation to know that what people normally describe as soulmates; two people who seem inseparable by reason of their mutual admiration and erotic commitment towards one another, is no more than decisions based on personal objective observation in one another.
Often it is out of several considered factors; how long one of the two people in the relationship had to wait “alone” before meeting the other. The circumstance that brought them together and the blessedness that each feels for having the other in their lives.
These are mere individual preferences, which in our modern world seems to shift with the least provocation. And therefore it is easy to talk of “falling out of love”. When simply we made the decision to be with them in the first place.
There is nothing magical or divine about two people finding themselves and deciding to stay together as a couple and face life’s difficulties side by side. I believe we make that decision every time we stop one taxi instead of another, or skip breakfast when we have plenty of food in the fridge.
Often those who believe that the lover was sent to them by a divine being, become resentful, bitter and unhappy in the union years later. Because it is one thing to receive a divine gift, supposedly, and another thing being able to take full advantage of it, or even liking the gift in general.
Love can never be blind, it can convince you to turn a blind eye for the sake of evading a critical argument or misunderstanding that may arise when you demand reason, but in all cases, you realize you have a choice.
No two people in the world are “meant to be”, in the sense that if you decide to leave them, you will find yourself forever doomed to live without finding someone who will appreciate you and take you seriously. If meant to be is even remotely applicable to the force that binds two people in mutual understanding of commitment and affection, it is that “they meant to be with one another till eternity”, not because they were predestined in a previous celestial existence and have recently been united here on earth.
But men are always unscrupulous. Many women, especially those with religious inclination, have been trapped in mediocre relationships just because they cannot see beyond what they felt when everything blossomed and glowed. Inasmuch as I disagree with divorce, I believe it is expedient that those who are yet to marry should think the matter over. Don’t be fooled into thinking that life ends with whoever you are with. Guys will have you believe they are your world, but if you think they don’t even make up to the status of a village, think twice. It is easy also to look at a particular woman and wonder if there could be another person like them in the world? Hello! News flash, do you remember your first partner, the second, and perhaps the third? Did you know a part of you believed they were the one, that if you did not marry them, life could be unbearable? Well, there could be another one out there yet.
Until you have personally considered every possible (good and bad) scenario and have agreed that the person you are with is the right one to help you in your journey of life, as far as living to the purpose of your existence is concerned, don’t give up reason to look out for more. Be committed so far as your current decision goes but look out for genuine reasons to stay and even get married to him or her.
Marriage is always about the long haul; it is about the ever after, sometimes without the happily. So think critically and choose now that you are not bound legally. You may not have a second chance to fall in love again.♥
Leave a comment; do you believe some people are meant for each other, and do you also believe love is blind?☺