LIFESTYLE segment with Jackie
Just in case you were going to turn up looking like a tit…
After waking up after a wild night ,with very little time before your 7am lecture, your biggest worry is probably not whether you’ll be late or not, but rather, what on earth you are going to wear.
Freshers is all about first impressions and when you walk in to that lecture theatre, there’s nothing worse than being remembered as the fashion failure.
The Gap Yah
So you spent your freshers’ week making small talk and delving into a detailed discussion of your extravagant year abroad: how many countries you visited, how many elephants you rode and all in all, how much of a new person you’ve become after finally finding yourself.
Having already deafened your new mates with your tales of travel, don’t then go and blind them with your hilariously horrific traveller trousers. Keep it to yourself that you chundered
everywah whilst sailing the seven seas and keep your patterned pants in your chest of drawers, or at least behind closed doors.
The Stash Wanker
You might have just joined college football or made it onto Team Durham, but just like your gap yah, nobody cares.
As boastful as University students may be, showing off your new stash is unnecessary. You’re simply going to look like another over enthusiastic fresher and there’s no need to alert everybody that you’re a member of the University. That much is kind of obvious.
The Glamour Puss
There’s always one.
Perhaps you’ve got your eye on a fellow student, or have taken a fancy to one of the lecturers, but dressing up for a lecture is a no go.Why waste your time spending hours preparing the perfect outfit, when you could be writing that essay you’ve left until the last minute, or even better, catching up on some much needed sleep?
There are plenty of fashion shows that take place in the university, but your lecture isn’t one.
The Pyjama Weirdo
You’re living by the motto of YOFO (you’re only a fresher once), so anything goes. You’ve finally escaped from the prison that are your parents and understandably, you want to go a little bit insane, but wearing pyjamas in public is not the way to do it.
Typically, you want everybody in your lecture to know how party-hard cool you are, how much little sleep you’ve had and how you don’t give a shit about what other people think of you. But seriously, if you’ve had enough time to walk to your lecture, you’ve more than definitely had enough time to get dressed.
The Party Princess
And perhaps even funnier is the person who doesn’t even bother to put their pjs on.
We’ve all done it…gone to bed in our clubbing clothes, slept through our alarm and thrown ourselves out of bed in a state of panic after realizing you’re going to be late for that all important lecture. You turn up fashionably late in last night’s outfit, of which there is no greater crime. Not only will you make immediate enemies after plonking yourself next to an innocent victim in your dirty clothes that smell of sweat and vodka, but people will think that you actually never went home last night.
‘The smelly slut’ is not a nice label to gain.
You’ve no chance of surviving the year if you can’t even open your eyes because they’re glued shut by last night’s mascara.
So, if making friends isn’t a priority for you freshers, go ahead and turn up to lectures in the above, so-called ‘fashion’.