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The Pain after breakups in a relationship is probably the worst thing ever

Lifestyle segment with Jackie

A break up has been the most painful experience of life. I went through depression and even hurt myself physically.
Since then I’ve read tons of books on relationships and self-love. I tried various healing practices. Slowly, I started emerging out of it, feeling more positive and in control of my life. Despite occasional lows, you can now objectively look at your relationship and notice all the lessons.
Because no matter how much pain you felt, it was one of the most valuable lessons of your life, and for that you are always grateful.

I strongly believe that every experience in our lives happens for a reason. There is always something we are meant to learn, or teach.
Intimate relationships are a very special kind of such experiences. They are what gives us the deepest pleasure, but also what causes the most acute pain. These are the moments in which everything we were trying to hide about ourselves will come up. Any limiting belief, any self-doubt, any fear. Both about you and about him.
Every relationship will experience difficulties once that starts happening. And it will start. This is the nature of relationships. It doesn’t make them bad, it just makes them valuable for our growth.

There is nothing you can do about it.
But what you can do, is choose how to react. We have free will and nobody can force us to do anything. So it is your choice whether you’re going to embrace it and face your inner demons, or not.
Life will keep giving us the same lesson over and over again, until we get it.
So if you choose you don’t want it, that you’d rather keep hiding your shadows inside you and live as nothing ever happened, than you will likely find your current relationship inconvenient, and so you will end it.
You will shortly after get in a new relationship, but to your surprise, this will soon become inconvenient for you too. And unless you make a decision to accept your lesson, this will keep happening in your life over and over again.
And some people live like this. This is their choice. Everybody has their own path and we need to respect that.
If your ex lives like this. It is his choice.

It took you a while to understand that. He didn’t try much in the relationship, if it meant going outside of his comfort zone. You guys didn’t grow together. And when you finally broke up, he started dating a new girl only few weeks after.
In the beginning you took it personally. You though that it all never mattered to him, and was not important. That you were not important.
But now you should understand that it has nothing to do with you. It is his decision whether he takes life’s challenges as opportunities to grow or not. He chose the way of safety and comfort. The less painful one. And there is nothing wrong about that.
But I decided otherwise. I though to myself: If I wasn’t strong enough to face this pain, then I wouldn’t have been given this experience. I can do it. And I will emerge stronger, more in line with my true essence, and happier.
The path isn’t always easy. It’s painful. To the point where you feel like breaking and you lose any hope of getting better. But it will get better. I can promise you this, because I’ve experienced it.

The next relationship you’ll have is not going to be based on a fear. It’s not going to be based on any needs. It will be based purely on love. But unless you choose to tear the thorn out, you will never be able to experience that.
Just because the process is painful, don’t run from it. Don’t let it stop you from experiencing something amazing. And never let your ex partner decide this path for you. Somebody who didn’t know how to appreciate you is not the person you should give away your lesson for.
Remember, everything is duality. There is dark and there is light. There is day and there is night. There is pain, and there is love.
We need to understand that every experience comes with both. Don’t run away from the bad, because you will be running away from the good, too. Embrace both.
Stay strong, continue your journey. You’ve come so far already. Don’t give up now. Don’t go back. Just a bit longer and you will finally wake up strong and full of love like never before.
If you’re hurting now, I know it’s tough. I know that when the pain gets so strong, you would do anything to stop it. Anything – including suicide.

I was there not long time ago. I still sometimes feel the pain and anger. But I already feel so much better.
If I had a chance to go back and eliminate my pain – I wouldn’t. Because I needed it to believe in myself and that I deserve better. We all need to believe that we deserve the best. Otherwise we will stay in bad relationship never feeling worthy enough.
This is your time, your journey. Embrace it. You are on your way towards something beautiful and amazing and I’m so happy for you. I’m with you in this journey. And if you ever need support or somebody to listen to, you can always email me.
With love,

To you

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